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24.1.03
another week come & gone. trying desperately [well, not really] to figure out if i should just go back to LA. feeling unfortunate & as if that would count as "giving up," or "failing." or if it just makes an honest woman of me to actually _make_ some money for a change....
a guy i work with just told me that The Hours is actually funny & "[he] laughed through the entire thing." i think that's why i like working here, even though i do so for free. or, at least, why i'm still here in spite of that.
am definitely going to LA in april to see They Might Be Giants vs. McSweeney's at UCLA - that should be an interesting show, if not a good time... but i'll have to see. it's strange / depressing / frustrating that i really have been in fucking STASIS for going on six months now.
i know a lot of that is perhaps "my fault" - yet i'm constantly stuck between wanting to take personal responsibility for everything & being told that it's _not_ "my fault"....oye vey. if i were a post-structuralist i'd be paralysed by my own personal dilemmas. mwahahahahahahahah.
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