everythinggoodisgone.com

26.9.02

day 1 of bogus unpaid internship. well, not bogus. but unpaid. excitement last night has faded to anxiety which means, well, i didn't sleep so well, and then the silly backhoe was out there again clanging at rocks at 6:45am so i didn't really get to sleep late. instead i had lots of really vivid dreams involving being affectionate with various people from my past in vague yet public circumstances. i've been having a lot of intense & non-narrative dreams recently - perhaps because i'm drinking less... but it means that i don't feel exactly "rested" when i wake up in the morning, having somehow done all this brain "work" without really meaning it. even when i took a sleeping pill the other night i found myself in a very strange and circular environment of images drawn almost exclusively from the last four years of my life...


i used to joke about how i don't remember my childhood - but it's weird in the context of dreams... i would expect that the years from 3-13 might pop in every once in a while, say hello don't you remember this tragic event, and leave it at that. instead, it's exclusively from 13-23 that i have feelings, experiences, and images which play a role in my nocturnal meanderings...

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